Excuse Me!

When I was young, I was taught to say "excuse me" before walking in front of someone. Note the before. My Mom and Dad never once said, "AFTER you plow into someone, THEN say excuse me." Their method of teaching was apparently avant-garde. An enigma. Alien to human life forms. Because I, along with my siblings, was apparently the only one to be taught this way. sigh.

Ashley and I went exploring in some of the smaller towns near our house today. We meandered through shops and cafes. The day would have been perfect if we hadn't somehow been completely invisible to everyone else. For some reason unbeknownst to moi, folks were unable to detect our presence until they had trampled over us. Then, as we were left examining our extremities for signs of permanent injury, the tramplers would toss a casual "excuse me" over their shoulder. What the heck?

I am not a small person by any stretch of the imagination. Except at Ryan's tonight. And there I felt like a freaking Barbie doll in comparison. But, I digress. Anyhoo, I am not hard to miss. Even if I could somehow slip by undetected visually, my size 10 boat feet would definitely pose a logistical issue. I am aware of my girth. I am aware of my lack of vision. Because I am sight impaired, I try extremely hard to be aware of my surroundings. I work diligently to avoid inadvertent collisions with folks. I frankly have no idea why I bother. I learned today that most folks do not care one teensy weensy bit who they run slap over to get to their destination.

It got so bad, Ashley and I got the giggles at one point. Serious giggles. With much spewing and a snort or two. I guess it was a bit of hysterical laughter. A release to keep from sitting in the corner crying at the lack of human kindness and basic respect. Because after this happens over and over, one starts to question.....well, everything. Is it what I wore? Did my deodorant give out? Do I look like an easy target? How in the world did I tick off a complete stranger so much?

I really don't think it is personal. And there lies the problem. We have stopped seeing each other as fellow human beings. With feelings. And, well...feeling. We see through other folks instead of seeing them. We frankly do not care about each other. We have become so hurried and rushed and important and insulated and isolated we can no longer feel empathy. Or a basic care and concern.

One time today I fought back a bit. I was sitting on a bench holding multiple boxes along with mine and Ashley's purses. The bench was situated in a wide aisle. In front of me was a little less than a foot of clearance. Behind me, the aisle had over four feet of clearance. A woman wheeling a suitcase (I kid you not) decided to squeeze her less than petite frame (think Barney - as in the dinosaur) whilst WHEELING THE SUITCASE in front of me. With less than a foot clearance. Much less when you factored in my previously discussed size 10 feet! As the front wheels started over my feet, she scowled at me and spat out "excuse me." I then said, " I am sorry Ma'am, but you are not excused. There is no excuse for you to attempt this when there is much more space the other way."

I'll bet you are thinking what I said made a difference. That the woman realized the error of her ways, and apologized. That she was horrified and mortified at her insensitivity. What I said did indeed make an impact. Because before I knew it, the second set of wheels impacted on my feet. Right over the tops of them. And then she said......wait for it......."Bitch". I kid you not. Yes, I apparently offended HER! I was left with little choice. I had been taught the right way. I knew I had to turn the other cheek. To take the high road. To be the better person. So, I simply responded "excuse me." Just saying.......